Online experience.

நீயா-நானா programme is going on TV and today's debate is the difference in behavior before and after 'love marriage'. Quite a few participants seem to have got in contact through chat or love had developed after extending a talk with an 'unknown call center professional'. It does shock my senses to call this 'love marriage' because its basis or foundation is so shaky. For instance, I do talk many times with personnel in call center, speaking on behalf of credit card or bank or internet broadband services. I did not get even a thought of 'extending' the talk to include 'personal' details or know about them. I am indeed surprised when people seem to go 'personal' or 'inquisitive', so soon especially in online communities like Orkut or Yahoo chat etc. Even if I know a 'mutual fried/acquaintance', it is probably not in my nature to talk/opine reg him/her to an unknown person, mutually known or otherwise.

When I was studying in REC/NIT Trichy, my classmates used to go to Yahoo chat rooms and had lot of animated post-chat conversations with rest of us. For me, thought of 'chat'ting with unknown person, especially about personal information (asl, for instance) is shocking if not revolting. At the same time, I thought that I should NOT think so without having a direct experience. I did enter the 'internet room' in our computer lab called Octagon with an intention to go to some chat room. I selected some Chennai room and since it was quite early (5:30 am or 6:00 am), I thought atleast some chat users may be 'serious'. I think 'qohearts' pinged me first and since 'she' was also not touchy about talking with a guy, I proceeded. She was apparently a desi in US, married 5 or 6 months back to a guy from Chennai. I realised that world is small when she found that her husband was my school mate. She told me about the 'controversy' which was one among many that we gossiped in school. Obviously I didnt believe any of these 'gossip's to be true. The girl shocked me asking about one such controversy which included her husband. She was atleast talking to me about an 'incident' (which I still think was petty gossip or rumor among school students) and seemed to quite agitated about it. She was 'spot on' on the principal characters and they had contact even after leaving school. I did not know what to say and glad that I didnt start on that topic. The other end seemed to be quite smart in decoding my 'curt'/brief responses. I stopped the chat when the other person told that she had indeed decided in favor of filing a divorce :o I didnt think that I was responsible in any way, for neither did I start the chat nor did I talk about that 'controversy'. At the same time, I did feel whether I could have avoided being the 'last straw' and stopped my solitary experience of 'chat' with unknown people.

It was probably after I started working that I did 'occasional' chats. I did think that it would be great to catch my 'future wife' after some level of chat. Courtesy yahoogroups and online communities like Orkut, I did happen to 'interact' with quite a few people. With a little bit more information known in such communities, I thought people might be guarded over what they talk and more importantly whom they talk. One issue that I had was 'confidentiality' of member's friends. Why should my 'friend's be known or seen by all? Anyway I didnt have 'skeletons' in my closet as such to worry and so I participated in communities. I think I first joined some 'Iyers' community with the idea of finding my 'future wife'. The voodoo continued even here and one girl wanted to chat with me. She wanted to chat not about me but about my friend, whom she suspected had a relationship (to the 'highest' level) with her 'to-be-husband' :( I came out of Iyers community immediately. Tamil Nadu politics was one community that I have been member, almost since I joined Orkut. I did encounter one person who claimed to have 'highest level of contact' with my friend's wife.

I am not sure what is the impact of such 'confession's on me but at the same time, I hope that I dont 'simmer' (as Ian Chappell would say). Maybe what they say or claim is true but I hope that I dont blurt out such things (basically gossip) with others. That is the least that I can do without.